Menno Air, the no-frills airline

I don't know who wrote this but it's too funny not to pass on.

 

YA SURE, YA BETCHA, DIS IS DA LATEST AIR SERVICE TO SPROUT UP IN MANITOBA, SASKATCHEWAN, ALBERTA, B.C. AND ONTARIO.....TRY IT, YOU VILL LIKE IT!!
 
If you are traveling soon, consider Menno Air, da no-frills airline. You're
all in da same boat on Menno Air, vhere flying is an uplifting experience.
Der is no First Class on any Menno Air flight.
 
Meals are potluck. Rows 1-6, bring rolls, 7-15 bring a salad,
16-21 a main dish, and 22-30 a dessert. Basses and tenors please sit in da
rear of da aircraft
 
Everyone  is responsible for his or her own baggage. All fares are by
freevill offering  and da plane vill not land until da budget is met.
 
Pay attention to your flight attendant, who vill acqvuaint you vith da
safety system aboard dis  Menno Air 599.
 
Okay den, listen up: I'm only gonna say dis yust once. In da event of a
sudden loss of cabin pressure, I am frankly going to be real surprised and
so vill Captain Wiebe and Co-captain Penner because ve fly right around
2000 feet, so loss of cabin pressure vould probably indicate da Second
Coming or something of dat nature, and I vouldn't bother with dose little
masks on da rubber tubes. You're gonna have bigger tings to worry about den
dat. Yust stuff dose back up in der little holes.  Probably da masks fell
out because of turbulence vhich, to be honest vith ya, ve're going to have
quite a bit of at 2000 feet...sort of like driving across a plowed field,
but  after a vhile ya get used to it.
 
In da event of a vater landing, I'd say forget it. Start saying da Lord's
Prayer and yust hope ya get to da part about  forgive us our sins as ve
forgive dose who sin against us, vhich some people say "trespass against
us," vhich isn't right, but vat can ya do?
 
Da use of cell phones on da plane is strictly forbidden, not because dey
may interfere  vith the plane's navigational system, vhich is seat of da
pants all da vay...  no, it's because cell phones are a pain in the vazoo
and if God meant ya to  use a cell phone, He vould have put your mouth on da
side of your head.
 
Ve're going to start lunch right about noon and it's buffet style vith the
coffee pot up front.
 
Den ve have da hymn sing... hymnals in da seat pocket in front of you.
Don't take yours vith you vhen ya go or I am going to be real upset and I am
not kidding!
 
Right now I'll say Grace..."Come Lord Jesus be our guest and let dese gifts
to us be blest. Father, Son and Holy Ghost, may ve land in Vinnipeg or
pretty close.  Amen".
 

 

 

Elma Schemenauer CONSIDER THE SUNFLOWERS: 1940s-era novel about love, Mennonites, faith, & betrayal.  Info at http://elmams.wix.com/sflwrs   Order from Chapters online http://tinyurl.com/nsylp5j or Borealis Press http://tinyurl.com/lfdo9pf

 

Literary agent Cynthia Kane of Capital Talent Agency

Literary agent Cynthia Kane of Capital Talent Agency seeks young adult, children’s, nonfiction, memoir, commercial fiction (but no science fiction or fantasy). “Submissions should be sent to literary.submissions [at] capitaltalentagency.com. We accept submissions only by e-mail. We do not accept queries via postal mail or fax. For fiction and nonfiction submissions, send a query letter in the body of your e-mail. Attachments will not be opened. Please note that while we consider each query seriously, we are unable to respond to all of them. We endeavor to respond within six weeks to projects that interest us.”

 

 

Elma Schemenauer CONSIDER THE SUNFLOWERS: 1940s-era novel about love, Mennonites, faith, & betrayal.  Info at http://elmams.wix.com/sflwrs   Order from Chapters online http://tinyurl.com/nsylp5j or Borealis Press http://tinyurl.com/lfdo9pf

 

your novel: literary or mainstream, & how long?

Good article on distinguishing between a literary and a mainstream novel, including guidelines on lengths of novels: http://tinyurl.com/oao9wgj .

 

 

Elma Schemenauer CONSIDER THE SUNFLOWERS: 1940s-era novel about love, Mennonites, faith, & betrayal.  Info at http://elmams.wix.com/sflwrs   Order from Chapters online http://tinyurl.com/nsylp5j or Borealis Press http://tinyurl.com/lfdo9pf

 

illustration & First Nations kids' literature

Julie Flett, a Cree-Metis illustrator, talks here about illustration and First Nations children’s literature: http://tinyurl.com/mme7sbup

 

Elma Schemenauer CONSIDER THE SUNFLOWERS: 1940s-era novel about love, Mennonites, faith, & betrayal.  Info at http://elmams.wix.com/sflwrs   Order from Chapters online http://tinyurl.com/nsylp5j or Borealis Press http://tinyurl.com/lfdo9pf

 

SUNFLOWERS endorsement & free 1st chapter critique

Robert L. Bacon, who runs a professional editorial service, wrote the following encouraging endorsement of my novel CONSIDER THE SUNFLOWERS. Note that Robert offers a free first-chapter critique. Details are on his website, www.theperfectwrite.com .  

 

It's with great pride that I showcase longtime Newsletter subscriber and supporter Elma Schemenauer's book CONSIDER THE SUNFLOWERS. Anyone who has ever struggled with the proper blend of interior monologue with dialogue can turn to any page in her narrative to witness a master at work in this regard. It requires enormous skill to not design the correct mix and also refrain from redundancy. You'll see in Elma's work that her interior monologue is always written with purpose. I'm going to write an article on interior monologue with purpose in an upcoming Newsletter, it's this important. I read a great deal of otherwise fine writing that desperately lacks the fabric which quality interior monologue provides. (I want to be certain to clarify what I mean by interior monologue. I'm referring to exposition and not stream-of-conscious ness text that is sometimes referred to as interior monologue).

Well-crafted interior monologue can be utilized to present backstory, which is often overlooked when discussing flashback techniques, as dialogue is generally cited--and not what's directly contiguous to the speech runs. Any subscriber taking the time to parse Elma's text will quickly discover that she uses interior monologue to assist both her story's pacing and the pitch of her scenes. For most writers, even experienced ones, the boundary for too much, or not enough, foreshadowing is a constant battle. In my opinion, Elma's story is a perfect blend, and it's a wonderful teaching medium related to this enormously important aspect of professional writing. And, frankly, it's one element I always look at when reviewing a draft for editing, as the use of interior monologue clearly differentiates writing skill levels.

 

Elma Schemenauer CONSIDER THE SUNFLOWERS: 1940s-era novel about love, Mennonites, faith, & betrayal.  Info at http://elmams.wix.com/sflwrs   Order from Chapters online http://tinyurl.com/nsylp5j or Borealis Press http://tinyurl.com/lfdo9pf

 

typewriter rising again

Weird or what? Here’s an article about people who make equipment you can use to turn a typewriter into something you can use with [or like?] a computer. Maybe I shouldn’t have given all my old typewriters to thrift stores.

 

Elma Schemenauer CONSIDER THE SUNFLOWERS: 1940s-era novel about love, Mennonites, faith, & betrayal.  Info at http://elmams.wix.com/sflwrs   Order from Chapters online http://tinyurl.com/nsylp5j or Borealis Press http://tinyurl.com/lfdo9pf

 

Consider the Sunflowers on Mennonite Women Voices USA

Janice L. Dick’s review of my 1940s-era Mennonite novel Consider the Sunflowers is UP on the Mennonite Women Voices USA website. Way to go, Janice and Menno Women. The review is here: http://tinyurl.com/pcepghp .

 

 

Elma Schemenauer CONSIDER THE SUNFLOWERS: 1940s-era novel about love, Mennonites, faith, & betrayal.  Info at http://elmams.wix.com/sflwrs   Order from Chapters online http://tinyurl.com/nsylp5j or Borealis Press http://tinyurl.com/lfdo9pf

 

for Christian Sci-Fi writers

Here’s an interesting-looking magazine designed to help Christian Sci-Fi writers: http://paper.li/E7Prophecy/1398889795

 

 

Elma Schemenauer CONSIDER THE SUNFLOWERS: 1940s-era novel about love, Mennonites, faith, & betrayal.  Info at http://elmams.wix.com/sflwrs   Order from Chapters online http://tinyurl.com/nsylp5j or Borealis Press http://tinyurl.com/lfdo9pf

 

Canadian Aboriginal writers finding increased success

Interesting article here: http://tinyurl.com/nzdo47d

 

 

Elma Schemenauer CONSIDER THE SUNFLOWERS: 1940s-era novel about love, Mennonites, faith, & betrayal.  Info at http://elmams.wix.com/sflwrs   Order from Chapters online http://tinyurl.com/nsylp5j or Borealis Press http://tinyurl.com/lfdo9pf

 

A HERO FOR THE PEOPLE: STORIES OF THE BRAZILIAN BACKCOUNTRY by Arthur Powers: A review

Suppose a young man is shot during a gunfight and paralyzed from the neck down. And suppose you're an Evangelical pastor who has a gift of healing. You're humble about it, saying "Jesus is the healer, and I am only a tool in his hands."

<![if !vml]><![endif]>Also suppose the young man repents of his sins, believes God can heal him, and asks you to pray for him. Could there be a situation in which it would be wrong to pray for the man's healing?

Author Arthur Powers explores this question in his short story "The Healer." It's part of his book of fictional narratives titled A Hero for His People: Stories from the Brazilian Backcountry, published in 2013.

Powers, an American lawyer, spent many years in Brazil as a Peace Corps volunteer. Later he worked as a layman for the Catholic Church in Brazil. The stories in this book are based on those experiences.

In the story "The Bridge," a priest suffers from something like post-traumatic stress, apparently because his work is so demanding. The church sends him back to the United States, to a place "for people who work too hard and care too much." There is a happy outcome for this priest, though it turns bittersweet in the end.

In the story titled "Come into My House and Stay," an unprincipled or misguided person sets fire to a slum. As the slum-dwellers watch "with dead faces," a Baptist minister looms like a giant on the road. His voice booms out a single phrase: "Forgive them, God. They don't know what they're doing." The slum-dwellers echo these difficult words even as their homes burn.

Mistreatment of the poor by the rich is a recurring theme in these narratives. The story "Hate" is about a land-hungry businessman bilking an illiterate farm couple out of their few acres. When he visits the unsuspecting couple, he is greeted with the words "We have very little, compadre, but what we have is yours."

This is a customary way of welcoming guests. However, the author keeps repeating the same words in different contexts till we readers grasp their deeper meaning. The couple mean they are happy to make a cup of tea for the visitor, and share whatever they have to eat. They don't understand—until too late—the heartbreaking truth that what little they have really will become the visitor's property.

The author of A Hero for the People is excellent at description. He knows how to convey a lot in a few words. For example, he describes one man as being "stubborn as a fence post." Of nightfall, he says: "Between 5:55 and 6:30 p.m., it switches from afternoon to complete dark." Describing the Bible reading in a church service, Powers says "Slowly—in the voice of a man newly practiced in reading—he proclaims the passage."

<![if !vml]><![endif]>A number of these stories have specific religious content. Others do not. However, each story contains a message, or lesson. Powers doesn't ladle these on. He lets readers draw their own conclusions, and displays an exquisite sense of where to end a story.

Many readers will be sorry to see Powers' book end. It's a powerful document. A Hero for the People, published by Press 53, is 190 pages long. It's available from the publisher, and also at Amazon.com, Amazon.ca, and Barnes and Noble.

Elma Schemenauer CONSIDER THE SUNFLOWERS: 1940s novel about love, Mennonites, faith, & betrayal.   http://elmams.wix.com/sflwrs   http://elmams.wix.com/elma  http://elmasalmanac.blogspot.ca/

Christian market opportunity: Dan Balow

Literary Agent Dan Balow of the Steve Laube Agency is seeking: Mostly nonfiction for the Christian market, but represents a select number of novelists working in Christian historical, contemporary, Biblical, and futuristic genres. How to submit: Email a query to Dan through his assistant at vseem [at] stevelaube.com. A submission process and form are available at the Steve Laube Agency website at http://www.stevelaube.com/guidelines/

 

 

Elma Schemenauer CONSIDER THE SUNFLOWERS: 1940s novel about love, Mennonites, faith, & betrayal.   http://elmams.wix.com/sflwrs   http://elmams.wix.com/elma  http://elmasalmanac.blogspot.ca/

 

writing a memoir

Writing a memoir or thinking about it? Here are 5 useful tips: http://tinyurl.com/nj94wvg

 

 

Elma Schemenauer CONSIDER THE SUNFLOWERS: 1940s novel about love, Mennonites, faith, & betrayal.   http://elmams.wix.com/sflwrs   http://elmams.wix.com/elma  http://elmasalmanac.blogspot.ca/

 

Narnia: literary afghan for the soul

Interesting article about C.S. Lewis’s Narnia books: http://tinyurl.com/qf7d324

 

Elma Schemenauer CONSIDER THE SUNFLOWERS: 1940s novel about love, Mennonites, faith, & betrayal.   http://elmams.wix.com/sflwrs   http://elmams.wix.com/elma  http://elmasalmanac.blogspot.ca/